sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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