Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
did i just pee glitter
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