Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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