call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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