Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
