Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
