he shaved USA in his pubs
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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