Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just tell him i said nine months
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
