I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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