ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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