were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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