i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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