I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
