She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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