I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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