is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
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Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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