Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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