Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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