Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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