69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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