If i come over, it means nothing
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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