Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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