Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize