some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
