You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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