anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
