yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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