just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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