He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
