i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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