Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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