you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
