you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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