I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
