A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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