My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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