I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
