He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
