i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
