He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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