Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize