All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
