They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
