She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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