There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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