I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
