Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
