how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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