Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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