BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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