The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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