My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
