summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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