after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
