Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
