i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
