You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize