Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
