You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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